Masters appear to take many forms, but generally they are all fundamentally the same. A Master, typically, is dominant who takes apposition of dominance over a submissive, most often in the form of a slave, and I will get to that later.
In some instances, the title ‘Master’ is earned by someone, and bestowed upon them having had many years of experience and training. This was instituted strongly by the ‘Old Guard’ leather community, and a Master was someone who had worked their way up the ranks from Slave to that position, and earned it proudly.
I should interject here that that I strongly differentiate between the terms Dominant and Top – to me they are two different things. The dominant is always in control – even if he is bottoming. A Submissive and be a top, and still be submissive to a dominant.
Masters aren’t always promoted to such, but I think for a Master to be a good one he should have some experience of the other side of the coin. Experience as a bottom is pretty much virtually essential. And part of me mistrusts the slew of ‘Masters’ who are around age 20 and simply think by using humiliation, verbal abuse and so on to try and win dominance that way. In my opinion (after all this is an opinion piece) those are the most dangerous type of ‘master’. They have little to no experience, very little maturity, and one important element I have seen them lack – Respect.
And by respect I don’t just mean like ‘He’s an older guy, I should call him Sir’ type of respect. I mean – realizing that when you take control of a submissive, you have a duty and a responsibility for that person’s well-being: mental, physical and emotional. A good Master knows this and practices this constantly. Its all fine in a session to break down a subs walls and limits etc – but you need to ensure you are not creating a monster by destroying the vestiges of emotional and mental strength in them. Nor are you causing harm to their body by not knowing your stuff. I have heard horror stories from subs who have left play sessions with such ‘masters’ and been hospitalized from their injuries, or suffered emotional breakdowns, or withdrawn and required therapy to rebuild their trust in anyone ever again. Those types of ‘masters’ I think we can do without.
The term slave has many negative connotations in the secular world. Historically speaking, slaves have been abducted from the native lands, transported across the globe and sold as one would livestock. Wikipedia describes slavery as: “Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation.”
In terms of the leather community, slaves are to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the Master, precisely that, although in some instances the “ideal” is not achievable. Reality kicks in, and don’t get me wrong, some people are able to make the conditions ideal and maintain it for many years, but that’s not always possible, nor always the case. A slave in leather terms willing surrenders to a Master, which changes the game plan a little, but not much. In doing so, the give up all rights to self. They are stripped of independence, opinion and choice. In some instances they are physically abused, mentally abused and in short, broken to the point of no return. A slave is molded by his Master to be what the Master wishes him to be. Often this is dictated in a mutually signed contract.
Before I delve more into what the relationship between a Master and slave is, let me point out a few things which many potential ‘slaves’ seem to forget.
Firstly, real life happens. It’s a great fantasy to believe that one can totally give up everything in ones life and become a slave to the ideal Master who will have wild kinky sex with him 24/7/365 and life will be bliss. In actuality, unless the Master is independently wealthy, this is impossible. People have to work, earn money, pay bills etc. So – there goes your 24/7. Many gay people have straight friends – who visit or pop over – and may not be quite so happy to see a naked man with a padlocked collar running around the house. (There are some who would – but that’s beside the point). Errands have to be run, and a slave who runs around naked doing them is bound to get arrested. So again – the 24/7 thing doesn’t always work.
Secondly owning a slave is a heck of a lot of work for a Master. Put yourself in those shoes – making EVERY decision for the slave – even when (and if) it can use the toilet, etc. From a slaves perspective, this can be frustrating and annoying (and probably for some a turn on, of course), but in practicality ends up becoming a nuisance to some extent.
In my opinion, I don’t think I would like a slave (Well not at this point in my life) because the practicalities would never allow me to keep it happy and entertained. (You can smile at that).
3. The Master and Slave relationship
A slave should compliment his Master. And I don’t mean “you look nice today”. I suppose a more correct term would be complete his Master; Be the compliment of; fulfill the Master. He should be trained to do things as his Master desires and only have to be told once. The ultimate ‘yes man’ as it were. He should anticipate the Masters whim and fancy and desires and needs and ensure that the Master’s best interests are always served. A good friend told me once of a slave who literally took a bullet for his Master and dies in the process. It’s that level of dedication that would set aside a true slave from a wanna-be.
Conversely, the Master assumes complete responsibility for the slave – everything from what the slave wears and eats to what his activities are, and what restrictions are placed upon him. Is the slave made to go out and work and earn money for the household? Does he stay home and keep the house in order and do other assigned tasks all day? It’s going to vary by Master, of course, as well as by the practicalities mentioned above. A Master will view the slave as property – much as one would a TV, DVD player or car, I guess, with not too much emotional attachment.
This is not to say that there is NO emotional attachment, only that it is less than that found in an equal relationship. And I think that Love is something which may in some instances be impossible from the Masters side. The emotional detachment is almost a requirement of a Master in this case unless they have absolutely no heart whatsoever. A slave, on the other hand, will probably not only be in love with his Master, but be totally devoted to his being.
4. My thoughts on these relationships
While I mentioned earlier that I don’t see myself having a slave, I have to admit a certain amount of appeal. Lord knows I hate washing dishes and doing laundry, etc. And having someone to play with and experiment and practice new techniques of kink and BDSM etc on certainly has its appeal. However, for me the practicalities will get in the way. The cost of feeding two mouths, the fact that I have family and friends who visit, my daily routines, social life etc, all these things which would preclude me from actually owning a slave. Besides the fact that I dislike the term “property”, the basis of slavery (forced or not) goes against my upbringing and moral alarm bells.
I feel a human life is far too valuable to be sold and traded as one would a cow. But that’s just me. And this is my opinion.
I Value your comments, opinions and input on this subject! Post a comment below!!